John Dolgetta's Poem Portfolio

ALAS, BIRTHDAYS APPEAR BUT ONCE A YEAR,

SHIT, ANOTHER SNEAKY CLEAVAGE WRINKLE.

WHAT TO DO, HARDLY A CAUSE TO CHEER,

GOTTA GO, CAN’T HOLD MY TINKLE!

FRIENDS TEASE WITH A POUND OF SWEET PASTRIES,

SHOULD I INDULGE? ONE, TWO. WHY DID I SUBMIT?

STILL FERTILE, MY HUSBAND WANTS MORE BABIES.

NOT FOR THIS BODY… IT’S TIME FOR A BOBBITT.

MAY THE STARS ALIGN, RESIGNED TO MY FATE.

TRYING HARD NOT TO LOSE MY GLITZ,

I PROMISE NEXT YEAR I’LL IGNORE THE DATE,

AND BUY THAT SPECIAL BRA TO PROP UP MY TITS.

BEFORE DAWN’S FIRST LIGHT

A HUSBAND AWAKENS HIS WEARY EYE,

SO THAT HIS SPOILED WIFE MIGHT

BREAK HER FAST WITHOUT A SIGH.

EIGHT CUPS FULL TO BE SURE,

FOUR SCOOPS TO COMPLETE THE BREW.

HER MUG STEAMS WITH CAFFEINE SO PURE,

A SIP, A SMILE, IN A BLINK HER LAST CHEW.

HER POOR HUSBAND SHE WILL ABANDON

WITHIN MINUTES TO PERFECT HER DOO.

MAY THAT OTHERS MIGHT FATHOM

HER BLOUSE QUITE REVEALING, HER BOSOM SO TRUE.

A HUSBAND’S KINDNESS WITH NARY A PEEP,

HIS SCENE EACH MORN NEVER AMISS.

YAWN HE MAY, BUT SURRENDERS HIS SLEEP,

TO GLADLY SLAVE FOR HER GOODBYE KISS.

WHILE A WIFE’S LOVE MAY NEVER EXHAUST,

HER AFFECTIONS ARE SADLY FORSAKEN.

THE STROKE OF PASSION LONG LOST,

HE YEARNS IN VAIN FOR HER BREATH TO AWAKEN.

BE IT THE HARVEST OF A CHILD,

OR THE BURDEN OF A STIPEND,

SHE STRUGGLES TO RECONCILE

WITH A PAST LONG AGO RIPENED.

HOPE NO LONGER SPRINGS ETERNAL.

HER MAN UNWITTINGLY STRANDED,

HIS VEINS DRY, HIS HEART NOCTURNAL,

SOLITARY HE CAPITULATES, HIS OBSESSION ABANDONED.

A DAY LIKE NO OTHER IS AGAIN UPON US

A DOZEN ROSES, A WEEK’S PAY.

THE DEMISE OF EVERY MALE SHOULD HE MAKE A FUSS,

STRANGE HOW THE THORNS AROUSE HIM TO OBEY.

HE ASKS: WAS THIS DAY THE CREATION OF A MADMAN?

NO CHANCE, HE DECIDES… IT MUST HAVE BEEN A

WOMAN.

WAS HER NAME SARA, EMMA, MARY, OR ANNE?

OH, THE PAIN! I’VE BEEN TOLD IT WAS A MAN NAMED

GOODMAN!

PRAY, HIS FLAME DESERVES NO LESS,

HE SEARCHES HIGH AND LOW FOR THE PERFECT

SCARLET LOT.

THERE IS TIME, HE DECIDES, NO NEED TO STRESS,

HIS HEART FLUTTERS IN FEAR; DEAR ME, THEY ARE ALL

SOLD OUT!

MY WIFE IN PANTS OF LEATHER,

A SIGHT TO BEHOLD!

AN INCITEMENT TO MALE PLEASURE

VELVETY SKIN YEARNING TO UNFOLD.

A MODEL OF NATURAL CLASS,

SHE NEVER CEASES TO SURPRISE.

REBUFFING ATTEMPTS TO HARASS,

MY SEDUCTRESS REMAINS THE ELUSIVE PRIZE.

TWAS UPON A SIMPLE MORNING

THAT MY SPOUSE AWOKE IN PAIN.

WITHOUT AS MUCH FOREWARNING

HER TEARS SHE COULD BARELY SUSTAIN.

PLEASE COME TO MY RESCUE, SHE IMPLORED.

FOR A GODLY SPECIALIST, INSANELY, SHE SEARCHED.

WILLING TO PAY HOWEVER GRAND A REWARD,

NO RELIEF IN SIGHT; HER NERVES HAD BEEN CURSED.

AND SO, SHE COURAGEOUSLY ENDURED,

TILL THERE APPEARED A WHITE-CLOAKED SLEUTH

WITH WEAPON AND MEDICINE, SHE ASSURED,

IN BATTLE, SHE WOULD SLAY THE WICKED TOOTH.

NARY A DAY ENDS OR STARTS

THAT A WIFE SOME ILLNESS PORTENDS.

WITH THE SYMPATHY OF LIPSTICK HEARTS,

SHE SEEKS SHELTER IN HER BEST FRIEND BENZ.

SHE SWEARS HER STRIFE IS TRUE,

THAT THE PAIN IS ONLY A MATTER OF WHEN.

SHE MOANS: MY HEAD IS A TIGHTENING SCREW,

HER MONTHLY ON A WEEKLY TREND.

BE IT AT WORK OR PLAY,

SHE TOLERATES NOT, HER SICK MENU.

DOCTOR ADVISES WITHOUT DELAY

TO SEEK A STAY AT BELLEVUE.

BANANA, BANANA, MY SAD BANANA.

YOUR TEARS PIERCE MY NIMBLE HEART,

AS HE WHO WIELDS THE SHARPEST DAGGAR.

AND SO, I WILT AWAY ON DAYS WE PART.

YOUR SIZE I RECALL, HARDLY FITS MY HAND.

I MUST USE TWO TO SHED YOUR PEEL.

SLOWLY I PULL YOUR SKIN SO CANDID,

I TREMBLE FOR THE TINGLE MINE TO FEEL.

AT FIRST SIGHT, YOU NOW LIE NAKED,

I TURN AND FLIP, KNOW NOT WHERE TO START.

MY TONGUE BATTLES, MY TEETH SO JADED.

TO LICK OR BITE, I AM FAMILIAR WITH THE ART.

BANANA, BANANA, MY HAPPY BANANA.

YOU NOW REPOSE SNUGGLE AND CONTENT,

IN MY PALM FOREVER YOUR SAFE CABANA.

TO MY SATISFACTION, YOUR ENERGY SO SPENT.